Depression is a serious mental disorder that affects not only the person but also those around them. Seeing someone you love depressed can be challenging and sometimes even helpless. While thinking ‘How can I help him/her?’,you may be afraid that what you say will be misunderstood or make him/her even more upset. One of the most important sources of support in this process is you...what you say and how you say it can make a big difference. In such a time, what is most needed is to be understood, to be listened to without judgement and not to have your feelings ignored. In this article, I would like to explain how you, as a relative of someone who is struggling with depression, can take a healthier and more constructive approach.

1. Recognise that depression is a disease, not a character weakness

Depression is not a condition that can be overcome by the will of the person, but a disease that occurs with a combination of biological, psychological and environmental factors. Well-intentioned but wrong messages such as ‘It will pass if you go out a little’, ‘Think positively’ can make the person feel lonely and not understood. First of all, taking this situation seriously and trying to understand it is one of the most valuable steps.

2. Listen, Do Not Judge

The depressed person may find it difficult to express his/her feelings, or the things he/she tells you may seem meaningless or exaggerated. However, the important thing here is to accept the reality of their feelings and listen without judgement. Providing support with empathic expressions such as ‘These things you feel must be very tiring for you’ helps to reduce the person's feeling of loneliness.

3. Encourage the person to consult a psychiatrist

Depression is a treatable disease. The support of a psychiatrist helps to manage this process in a healthier way. However, it is more constructive to encourage the person with a supportive language instead of forcing them. Suggestions such as ‘If you want, we can make an appointment together’ can lighten the burden of the person.

4. Support Daily Tasks

People with depression may find it difficult to carry out even daily activities. At this point, small but sustainable contributions such as taking a walk together, preparing a meal or helping with household chores can be very valuable. However, it is important to avoid taking over the person's responsibilities completely.

5. Be patient and consistent

The healing process can take time and there may be ups and downs. Sometimes the person may not ask for help or may feel anger towards you. Try not to take such reactions personally. Love, patience and consistency are among the most powerful healing factors.

6. Do not ignore your own limits

You should not neglect your own mental health when dealing with your relative's depression. It is natural for you to feel exhausted too. In this process, it is important to make space for yourself to just relax. Remember, if you are well, you can provide better support.

The support of relatives is very important in the treatment of depression; treatment is a team work. A loving, understanding and patient environment strengthens the treatment process. Your loved one may be going through a difficult time, but with your support you can overcome this process together. Do not hesitate to seek professional help if necessary.

Stay in good health and hope.